The Review

"The Sunlight Worlds Offer You A Life of Comfort and Plenty. Apply now at the Dalek Foundation."

The Doctor nodded. Time travel did this kind of thing to him all the time. That was the nature of it. A twisty-turning thing that would tangle your hearts in barbs if you let it.

5 out of 5 Fallen stars

The Review

“We’re all on the road to ruin but some are further ahead than others.” 

“For all men are equal at the moment of death and who are we to judge them when a much greater judge awaits?” 

5 out of 5 Fallen stars

The Review

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. 

“Still, I wonder if we shall ever be put into songs or tales. We're in one, of course, but I mean: put into words, you know, told by the fireside, or read out of a great big book with red and black letters, years and years afterwards. And people will say: "Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring!" And they will say: "Yes, that's one of my favourite stories. Frodo was very brave, wasn't he, dad?" "Yes, my boy, the famousest of the hobbits, and that's saying a lot."'It's saying a lot too much,' said Frodo, and he laughed, a long clear laugh from his heart. Such a sound had not been heard in those places since Sauron came to Middle-earth. To Sam suddenly it seemed as if all the stones were listening and the tall rocks leaning over them. But Frodo did not heed them; he laughed again. 'Why, Sam,' he said, 'to hear you somehow makes me as merry as if the story was already written. But you've left out one of the chief characters: Samwise the stouthearted. "I want to hear more about Sam, dad. Why didn't they put in more of his talk, dad? That's what I like, it makes me laugh. And Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam, would he, dad?"''Now, Mr. Frodo,' said Sam, 'you shouldn't make fun. I was serious.''So was I,' said Frodo, 'and so I am.” 

4 out of 5 Fallen stars

Plot Synopsis:

The Review

“It came as no surprise to learn of the success the Swede has recently enjoyed with his furniture. In that rotten state of his the Swede is permanently on the lookout for firewood, so it is no wonder that from time to time this might result in the odd table or chair.”  

My Rating:

Homer's Iliad is the greatest and most influential epic poem ever written, telling of the tragic and bloody climax to the ten-year siege of Troy. This Penguin Classics edition was originally translated by E.V. Rieu, revised and updated with an introduction and notes by Peter Jones and D.C.H. Rieu.

One of the foremost achievements in Western literature, Homer's Iliad tells the story of the darkest episode in the Trojan War. At its centre is Achilles, the greatest warrior-champion of the Greeks, and his refusal to fight after being humiliated by his leader Agamemnon. But when the Trojan Hector kills Achilles' close friend Patroclus, he storms back into battle to take revenge - even though he knows this will ensure his own untimely death. Interwoven with this tragic sequence of events are powerfully moving descriptions of the ebb and flow of battle, of the domestic world inside Troy's besieged city of Ilium, and of the conflicts between the Gods on Olympus as they argue over the fate of mortals.

The Review

Anger be now your song, immortal one
Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous, 
that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss
and crowded brave souls into the undergloom, 
leaving so many dead men-carrion
for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done.

In the book there are several scenes of gruesome battles and people getting beheaded and spears running through peoples bowels, this is one of the things that appealed me into reading the book from cover-to-cover: men bludgeoning other men to pulp, spears right in the eye, Greeks and Trojans basically having the a game of King of the Hill, but instead of a hill it's Patróklos, and instead of just standing on the hill, the guys have to haul the dude to their side of the battlefield. Combat.

                                                          Pênèleos drove his spearhead
into the eye-socket underneath the brow,
thrusting the eyeball out. The spearhead ran
straight through the socket and the skull behind,
and throwing out both hands he sat down backwards.
Pênèleos, drawing his long sword, chopped through
the nape and set the severed helmeted head
and trunk apart upon the field. The spear
remained in the eye-socket. Lifting up
the head by it as one would lift a poppy,
he cried out to the Trojans, gloating grimly:

"Go tell Ilioneus' father and his mother
for me, Trojans, mourn him in their hall.
The wife of Pròmakhos, Alegênor's son,
will not be gladdened by her husband's step,
that day when we Akhaians make home port
in the ships from Troy."

Here, the Greek warrior Pênèleos spears Ilioneus right in the eye, the spear passing through his skull, beheads him, lifting the head like Heracles and Medusa, and gloats over his body and to the Trojans, probably with his foot propped on Ilioneus' headless body. Now that's fucking brutal. This sounds more violent than an X-ray Fatality from Mortal Kombat X, really LOL (Other fighting games are available)

                                                          At this,
Iris left him, running downwind, Akhilleus,
whom Zeus loved, now arose. Around his shoulders
Athêna hung her shield, like thunderhead
with trailing fringe. Goddess of goddesses,
she bound his head with golden cloud and made
his very body blaze with fiery light.
Imagine how the pyre of a burning town
will tower to heaven and be seen for miles
from the island under attack, while all day long
outside their, in brutal combat, pikemen
suffer the war god's winnowing: at sundown
flare by flare is lit, the signal fires
shoot up for other islanders to see,
that some relieving force by see may come:
just so the baleful radiance from Akhilleus
lit the sky. Moving from parapet
to moat, without a nod for the Akhaians,
keeping clear, in deference to his mother,
he halted and gave tongue. Not far from him
Athêna shrieked. The great sound shocked the Trojans
into tumult, as a trumpet blown
by a savage foe shocks an encircled town,
so harsh and clarion was Akhilleus' cry.
The hearts of men quailed, hearing that brazen voice.
Teams, foreknowing danger turned their cars
and charioteers blanched seeing unearthly fire,
kindled by the grey-eyed Athêna,
brilliant over Akhileaus. The great cries
he gave above the moat. Three times they shuddered,
and twelve good men took mortal hurt
from cars and weapons in the rank behind.

Akhilleus' best friend, Patróklos pretends to be Akhilleus, and that means borrowing his armor. But he is killed by Hektor, he takes his armor as a trophy. Upon hearing this, Akhilleus immediately wants to take revenge, but he cannot since Hektor has his armor. But Athêna lends him her shield, Aegis.
Imagine a shinning,  shield glowing (Glowering. At your life choices.) goldenly, bearing the face of the Gorgon in the front, the very sight of it makes great men's knees shake and lesser men to flee, when Zeus shakes the Aegis Mount Ida is cloaked in clouds, thunder rolls and men are struck down with fear.  This is the shield of Zeus and grey-eyed Athêna.

And now imagine Akhilleus, still in a rage from his friend's death, climbing on top of the Greek's camp wall like one of those  bare-chested dudes from 300, standing on the edge, alongside Athêna, thrice they shout with such rage and great emotion that twelve Trojans are actually hurt from it, or indirectly from the chariots going berserk and the chaos that followed.



Riiiiiight, onwards to an actual review.

Robert Fitzgerald's translation isn't as word-for-word translated as Robert Fagles or Richmond Lattimore (Who are the other two most popular translators in this), more of thought-for-thought, if that makes any sense. But he translates the names as accurately as possible, meaning some of the used-to names of heroes such as Achilles and Ajax are written here as Akhilleus and Aias, which might confuse some readers on their first reading (I was confused, I was wondering where Ajax was gonna come in, and then 3/4 into the book I looked it up and turned out that Aias is Ajax!), and this might annoy you guys but for some people it's okay, but with all the diacritic names (Lykáön, Danáäns, Patrókles etc . . .) and embellishments, some of you might get bothered. But there are other publications of Fitzgerald where the names there are as they are commonly known (Oxford World Classics, for one).

Below are the opening lines of some of the famous translations of the Iliad for your consideration and judgement:

Robert Fitzgerald
                                                                        The Lord Marshal
Agamémnon, Atreus' son, and Prince Akhilleus.


Robert Fagles
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus’ son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters’ souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving towards its end.
Begin, Muse, when the two first broke and clashed, 
Agamemnon lord of men and brilliant Achilles.


Richmond Lattimore
SING, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus
and its devastation, which put pains thousandfold upon the Achaians,
hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls
of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting
of dogs, of all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished
since that time when first there stood in division of conflict
Atreus' son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleus.


Alexander Pope
Achilles’ wrath, to Greece the direful spring
Of woes unnumber’d, heavenly goddess, sing!
That wrath which hurl’d to Pluto’s gloomy reign
The souls of mighty chiefs untimely slain;
Whose limbs unburied on the naked shore,
Devouring dogs and hungry vultures tore. 
Since great Achilles and Atrides strove,
Such was the sovereign doom, and such the will of Jove! 


Stephen Mitchell
The rage of Achilles—sing it now, goddess, sing through me
the deadly rage that caused the Achaeans such grief
and hurled down to Hades the souls of so many fighters,
leaving their naked flesh to be eaten by dogs
and carrion birds, as the will of Zeus was accomplished.
Begin at the time when bitter words first divided
that king of men, Agamemnon, and godlike Achilles.

Introducing one of the most famous characters in literature, Jean Valjean—the noble peasant imprisoned for stealing a loaf of bread—Les Misérables ranks among the greatest novels of all time. In it, Victor Hugo takes readers deep into the Parisian underworld, immerses them in a battle between good and evil, and carries them to the barricades during the uprising of 1832 with a breathtaking realism that is unsurpassed in modern prose. Within his dramatic story are themes that capture the intellect and the emotions: crime and punishment, the relentless persecution of Valjean by Inspector Javert, the desperation of the prostitute Fantine, the amorality of the rogue Thénardier, and the universal desire to escape the prisons of our own minds. Les Misérables gave Victor Hugo a canvas upon which he portrayed his criticism of the French political and judicial systems, but the portrait that resulted is larger than life, epic in scope—an extravagant spectacle that dazzles the senses even as it touches the heart. 

The Review

And . . .

So anyway, I stopped reading it at about 300 pages in, I just couldn't take it at that time, can you blame me? So I continued it, and it's pretty good, now that I'm reading it again.
What really drawn me in is the setting, 19th century France, on the brink of a revolution, its contrasting characters and locations; on the one hand the poor, living in squalid gutters, and on the other the rich, the well-to-do, the bourgeoisie. The complex characters and their (quite extensively illustrated) backstories, Jean Valjean with his run-ins with the law and becoming virtuous and moralistic, Cosette an orphan girl once abused by the Thenardiers, once frightful and meek now becomes this butterfly from this awkward caterpillar. And the drama of it all, and Victor Hugo's writing still is simply beautiful.

Don't be too intimidated that it's over 1400+ pages long, or that it was made by a Frenchman, or that it was made into a highly successful broadway and West Ends's musical, just treat it like multiple books all crammed into one, like A Song of Fire and Ice. I bet if that was the case, you'd be intimidated by the size too.

I suggest that you buy a good translation of this (preferably hardbound or trade paperback), since this is originally French. Unless you can read fluent French. Mine is the Lee Fahnestock translation by Signet, it's pretty good, some words or  phrases aren't translated, though, but overall pretty nice!

Anywaaaaay, we basically follow a set of characters in the story, namely:

Jean Valjean: The man who's hunted for life because he stole a loaf of bread and a bunch of other petty and non-petty crimes. Here we'll see more of his character development (which isn't just from being a 'bad' and grumpy bastard and into a virtuous saint), you'll also understand more why he's one of my favorite characters in this book, because he's just so awesome and nice.

Javert: The French police officer who has absolutely nothing better to do than to chase an escaped convict for about 20 years. I mean, I get it, he has a bunch of crimes and offenses, but 17-ish fucking years? Come on dude, you could've been more productive. Oh I don't know, track down someone more dangerous? Cheesus.  He was played by Russel Crowe (Philip Qaust in the play). Brilliant performance, though.

Cossete: The girl on the cover of the book. Also adopted by Jean Valjean (Spoilers!), she's one of the main characters here and who'll present one of the best character development catalysts for Jean Valjean.

Marius Pontmercy and the Friends of the ABC (Les Amis de l'ABC) : A bunch of revolutionary French Republican schoolboys who will join in the June Rebellion with their haphazardly constructed barricade, gotta say, I frickin' love these guys and their parts!

Thénardier and Madamne Thénardier: Basically crafty Borat and less crazy Bellatrix Lestrange (Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter) running a shitty inn where they serve piss-wine and mystery-meat sausages.
4/5, Windows were a bit drafty.

Bishop Myriel of Digne: Also known as "Omg-why-is-this-first-book-mainly-about-him" guy. I mean, he only appears for a chapter or three outside of his own little intro book, and then that's it! Victor Hugo even says at the start "Although in no way it concerns our story . . .", come on, man.

Victor Hugo used the plot to convey the political and social France during his time, it's shortcomings and its problems, child workers, corrupt or faulty law systems, poverty. He makes the reader reflect on society and the government, all in all it's kinda like a political and social satire but toned-down a bit. He not only tells a compelling story of a convict, a priest, a lawgiver, and a child, but he also gives us insight into what it was like back in his time, or close to it.

Like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Les Misérables is also melodramatic, almost to the point where it doesn't seem probable anymore, which was deliberate.
And sometimes, he adds random speeches or narratives about things like politics at that time, some ideas, some irrelevant details, and some unimportant character profiles in between books/chapters, you'll randomly be barraged by his gigantic blocks of text in the middle of an important battle or during a chase.

If you're here because of the musical and because you wanted to know and read more of the musical numbers, then you're in the wroooooong neighborhood! I went and actually looked for the lines that might've inspired the songs, but nah. Couldn't find any, because the musical numbers were of original composition.

I really like Jean Valjean's character and his parts in the book, his development was really big and makes you think "Hmm, if he's an arse right now and later on he can be a saintly man, maybe I can too?", he was incredibly nice and caring for Cossette, she's his treasure. I also liked Cossette's part in the book, especially her childhood, it was a really interesting part in story, and it really showed a lot about the 19th century France back then, and the Thenardiers, and just how nice and awesome Jean Valjean is.

Digressions are EVERYWHERE. 'Nuff said.

It took me a total of about a month to finish this book (Technically two years, but eh), some days I woke up at 7 in the morning, and went to sleep at 1:30 in the morning reading this, it's that good and it's that long!

After finishing this, you might get any combination of the following: Strong arms, strong wrists, terrible eyesight, grounded for staying in your local library until it closed and then you were stuck in there for a day until they opened it again, a book with an arced spine, a deeper understanding of France, a better vocabulary, to be drunk on words (I'll tell you later), insanity due to digressions, and many, many more! :D

Below is a guide on how to make your own work in the likeness of Monsieur Victor Hugo! (More specifically, Les Mis.)

How to Write Your Own Version of Les Misérables:

Step 1: Write down a fragment of a story relating to a general plot line. (Pro-tip: Write lots of sub-plots)

Step 2: Randomly interject French history and French politics which will probably have no bearing in the plot whatsoever. (Pro-Tip: Attack society's flaws and shit)

Step 3: Write another story fragment of about 100 pages.

Step 4: Write about 50 pages or random stuff. (Pro-Tip: Make one about the Battle of Waterloo and the sewers of France, just because.)

Repeat Step 1 to 4.

End Step: Finish making a 1463 page book.

Lara Jean didn’t expect to really fall for Peter.

They were just pretending. Until they weren’t. And now Lara Jean has to learn what it's like to be in a real relationship and not just a make-believe one.

But when another boy from her past returns to her life, Lara Jean’s feelings for him suddenly return too.
Can a girl be in love with two boys at once?
In this charming and heartfelt sequel to the New York Times bestseller To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Lara Jean is that falling in love is just the easy part.

The Review

Other problems from the previous book comes to haunt them again, old faces re-appear *cough* Lucas, Chris, (that bitch) Genevieve, and Josh *cough*, new ones make appearances, and the ol' "Ski Trip Incident" resurfaces with a sucker punch . . .

Everything's getting okay, but when someone from her past comes back, this is where things get complicated. She didn't expect to fall for Peter, it was all pretend back in To All the Boys I've Loved Before to save face in front of Josh, and for Peter to get Genevieve jelly, but what if their feelings for each other weren't fake? What if they're legit? And when Player 3 enters the game into her life, her old feelings for him resurface as well, this screams warning sirens in my ears saying "LOVE TRIANGLE ALERT!". Wait, is she starting to like this new guy? Cheesus Crust, calm down, Lara Jean, you've already fallen for Peter and maybe Josh, can't have you falling for another guy, jeez.

Will she follow her feelings for this new guy, or will she stay with Peter? You have to read it to find out!

First of all, I like the new guy, he's fun, he's quirky, he's hot to girls! I swear, they look so damn cute together and I ship them so much!! In my opinion, Lara Jean should choose him than Peter.

He looks more than just taller. Now that i can take the time to really look at him I notice more. With his fair hair and milky skin and rosy cheeks, he looks like he could be an English farmer's son. But he's slim, so maybe the sensitive farmer's sone who steals away to the barn to read. The thought makes me smile

The plot basically revolves around this rather saucy scandal with Lara Jean and Peter K, how they deal with it, an old friend of Lara Jean coming back into her life and how this plays out with Peter and LJ, and why Genevieve's such a total pain in our arse. Yes, apparently there is a reason why. Who knew?

You haven’t brought me down. Just the opposite. You’ve brought me out. You gave me my first love story . . .

This book kept tugging at my heartstrings and you know, giving me almost-tears, which is the next best thing. One minute LJ and Peter's making me smile and go "Awwwwww" the next the book makes me go "Oh shitshitshitshit NO! Omg whyyyyyyy hahahahaha A meme? You serious? Hahahahahaha!" and then the next it's making me grin like an idiot!

Replace "Breadcrumbs" with "My Feels"! <3

All I'm gonna say is "Question everything", just like the previous book, will Peter and LJ get together-legit in the end? I dunno. Will all the questions be answered by the end of the book? Maybe. Is Genevieve and Peter really over? But I am going to give you guys a hint: The Selection by Kiera Cass ;) (No, there won't be a lot of suitors for her!)

I agree that Lara Jean still acts younger than her age, but in this book she really grows up, she's gotten smarter, more funny and she becomes more independent and she deals with stuff better. Although her little sister Kitty is sometimes more mature than her, sometimes. But still.

The ending wasn't that conclusive, it left some small questions hanging, but that's good, I guess, Jenny Han wanted some things left to the imagination, and that's good!

Reading the last pages, the last scenes of Lara Jean's story, and letting go, is like saying goodbye to an old friend at the airport. Waving goodbye as he or she boards the plane, knowing full well you can't follow, and you're left feeling empty. That's what this book did to me.